Friends?!

What are friends anyhow? Are they people that help, offer advice, stand by you, listen, offer a shoulder, support you? It seems like the whole concept of friendship is deteriorating, or maybe its just that people have not 'learned' how to be a good friend.


Are we just too busy to take the time anymore? I remember when we would get together for coffee just to chat about the week, go over to friends' houses at the end of the busy week to wind down and play games, support each other's endeavours and honour invitations. It doesn't seem like people have the time or interest in building on their friendships. There is more petty "behind the back" talking of others - Wow, I just had a revelation - maybe people are just bored with their own lives and need to talk about others to sound more interesting.


I still have a friendship that I made when I was in Grade 1 or 2. My parents moved me away after Grade 3 and we lost touch over many, many years. Amazingly, we met up again after graduation and have since then moved in and out of each other's lives. She ended our friendship after a man came between us - you know that old story of "he didn't treat me well and I had decided to stay with him". She couldn't stay supportive after that and we didn't speak for three years. I made the first move to mend our friendship and now we continue to weave in and out with moving to different cities and same cities. This is a friendship that will never end because we both value friendships and realize there is a reason we keep connecting even after so many years.


I had a friend a long while ago that, after years of friendship and supporting one another, decided to end our friendship because I was having relationship troubles. Well, six years later, that boyfriend became my husband and we are fairly happy together. Sure we have our troubles and frustrations, but what couple doesn't at some point or another. That friendship has never been resurrected and I'm not sure it ever will be. I have tried to offer amends and initiate a renewed friendship but its just not being reciprocated. The funny thing is she was in the midst of her relationship turmoil and I stood by her side all the while.

Sometimes we need to make our own mistakes (and hopefully learn from them), but through it all we need our friends to lean on.

More recently, I have a friend who, after spending the majority of the year having fun, doing activities and socializing, she said to me, "Well, I don't know when I'll see you next since school is starting and I've got to start working on my business and other stuff - so I guess we'll see you around sometime." What the hell was that all about???!! I am still shaking my head at the lack of social development happening here. When you've made a good friend, the last thing you do is push them away and act like an acquaintance instead. We've never gotten back to the ease of friendship that we had before and I find it ever so frustrating.

I know and am fully aware that we all have busy lives with careers, children and various activities. But seriously, are we all too busy to work on a friendship or two?