Playing in the Neighbourhood

I want to know what happened to all the safe and friendly neighbourhoods of our childhood (that would be the 70’s and early 80’s if you’re all wondering). Now a days, we have to deal with scheduling ‘playdates’, making sure the kids call when they’ve arrived at the house they’re playing at (which happens to be only six houses away), continuously checking on the kids when they’re outside to make sure they’re still there.

When I was growing up, we lived along the coastline so I had the train tracks and miles of beach as my ‘backyard’. I remember leaving my house when I was about 6 - 7yrs old to play, and then I would find myself very far away from where I started. I’d wandered down the train tracks or beach, head down, checking out this and that. I’d see a pretty stone or shell and continue to look for more, when I finally put my head up and realized where I was, I would turn around and slowly meander back. There never seemed to be an issue of pedophiles or ‘creepy people’ in those days. There was this park that I’d go to ALL the time and it was probably a good four blocks away – I would walk, bike or roller skate there BY MYSELF!

My husband too, grew up in a town of 10,000 and was kicked out of the house with his siblings after breakfast and not allowed back in till lunch time or dinner time. They all played in the yard, street, other kids’ yards, in the neighbouring field, at the park – you name it, they were there. All his mother had to do when it was mealtime was stand on the front porch and call their names, and they would all come running. All the kids would play together little ones and older ones – together. There wasn’t ever anyone left out like there is today.

It’s a shame to call over to a friend’s house and have the parent say, “Sorry, but Susie Q already has a playdate friend over; maybe another time.” What is wrong with this picture? Are we setting our kids up to fail? Our kids aren’t going to learn how to solve problems within groups because they aren’t placed in those situations anymore, now they spend more time playing with one or two others not the whole neighbourhood.

Now, if my kids aren’t where I last saw them or I can’t hear them nearby, I will panic a bit and maybe even start calling the neighbouring kids’ houses to see if my kids ended up there. I have had to train my children to let me know if they’re going to someone else’s house so I don’t worry. It seems sad that the children of today don’t have the freedom of play like we did growing up.

I understand that neighbourhoods are vast and spread out now, and sometimes your child’s school friends are in the next neighbourhood so they need to be driven over, but seriously, most families live in neighbourhoods with other children in them. Can we not trust our neighbours anymore? Have we become impatient with other neighbours or their children?

I just wish we could all be watchful parents from a distance, and let the kids play in the block together, knowing that just because I can’t see or hear my children, they are safe and being checked on by another caring parent or neighbour. It’s just about knowing who lives in the neighbourhood and keeping a watchful eye on anyone that doesn’t look familiar.

Maybe someday. . . .